Self-disclosure in relationships: Revealing and concealing information about oneself to others

Concerns with social acceptance and rejection play a central role in virtually all adult relationships. People’s efforts to maintain a desired level of acceptance and to avoid being rejected exert a pervasive influence on their interpersonal behaviors, and indications that others do not adequately value people’s relationships have strong effects on their emotions, behaviors, and self-views. The chapter begins by examining the nature of people’s concerns with acceptance, showing that at the most basic level, people are chronically concerned about their “relational value” in the eyes of those with whom they have—or want to have—relationships. After examining the motivational bases of people’s concerns with relational value, the chapter describes ways in which people maintain their relational value, explores emotional reactions to perceiving that one’s relational value is lower than one desires, examines the effects of low and high relational value on self-esteem, and discusses how people behave when they feel inadequately valued.